Quite a while, ugh! I miss blogging all the time. Now I’m lucky if I can sleep before 2 AM. I guess I wanna say: If you ever feel lost or empty…sometimes I feel that way too.

I think I’m still stuck in the past, I keep thinking about the old times. I’m still in my shielded bubble that no longer exists, and I’m trying to drift back to the past. I don’t like “growing up” or getting older.

Everything I do is taken day by day, because we are not guaranteed tomorrow.

A funeral I went to today really awakened me, plus some other personal issues going on in my life. I’m trying to figure out how I can make my life more purposeful…or helpful. It’s difficult. You just make the best of what you can. Be a good, kind person.

Now I’m thinking, maybe I don’t want to do photography anymore. Is my inspiration gone? Is the passion even still there? What can I do? I hate nights like this. The darkness always gets me.

For now: I will keep trying. AND LISTENING TO JOE HISAISHI! All of his stuff is amazing. Soooo!! here I go…


  1. December 17, 2015 at 4:01 pm Trevor

    Everyone get’s to this point at some point Jessica, you’re not alone! Never loose interest in things you’re passionate about – if you find yourself seeing everything as a blur – take a step back for a few days – then get back to it. You’re extremely talented at what you do in a very crowded marketplace – if you keep going at it, it’ll pay off.

    Much love from one of your longest running online fans. Keep up the great work, but most of all – keep seeing things with a beautiful eye.

  2. February 4, 2016 at 11:43 pm Laura

    Hey! I have been reading your blogs since I was 12 lol (22 now)! I owe it to you for teaching me paint shop pro on SwimChick! I know that whatever you do- graphic design, photography, you are EXTREMELY talented and creative. It sounds cheesy but I am sure you will be wonderful in whatever field you choose! :)

  3. January 10, 2017 at 10:48 am Natalya De Aveiro

    Hi Jessica, I’m really sorry you felt this way. This is a feeling I’ve severely experienced recently, and it’s horrible. This particular post has made me feel more positive knowing that someone like you, who has an amazing ability to create such skilful imagery and has the patience to share her knowledge/passion with other aspiring photographers, has never given up despite their demotivation. Demotivation, can grow from many pointers and I just wanted to say thank-you for fighting through the obstacles you have fought through to inspire me. You have un-demotivated me.

    All the best, Natalya :-)

  4. April 9, 2017 at 8:56 am Shalini

    Hey, I knw that there are times when just wanna give up and cut-off all the connections with everyone. Its hard. But hey, u knw what ppl say: Anyone can give up; it is the easiest thing in the world to do. But to hold it together when everyone would expect you to fall apart, now that is true strength. And talking of leaving photography, please don’t! I have watched every single one of your videos and they are pretty amazing!!! :-) Plz don’t stop your photography !!!

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